A spiritual watermelon

And the containers we are living in

Right after I wrote about my experience growing up in the container of Christianity and then my jogging away from it a few weeks back (Disciple Later, Seek Now), I shakily pressed send and then went to the water. I’m a triple water sign. (Moon and Sun in Pisces and Rising in Cancer if you were curious) The water grounds me. I sat at the foot of Lake Michigan, chatted with a friend on the phone and was looking out over the water mid conversation about hell or something else rather heavy, when I saw a man walk to the water’s edge and drop a whole watermelon into the crashing waves. He bowed his head, seemed to say a prayer, and then walked away.

The whole ritual only took about a minute. I tried to explain what I had just witnessed to my friend on the other end of the phone. We were baffled together for a moment and then eventually moved onto another existential topic. But, as I have questioned who God is…I thought, maybe I would want to believe in a God who threw me a watermelon to ponder—who knew about my love for metaphors and thought “here—try to make this beautiful,” I watched the watermelon float for quite some time. It was actually quite therapeutic. I watched it get swallowed by waves, momentarily lost— and then re-emerge. Buoyant. Resilient. (Did I do it? Did I make it beautiful? )

Definitely no judgement of this man. Actually, I’m very thankful I got to witness the whole thing. It seemed to give him peace. (If this is a spiritual practice that you recognize, please tell me what it’s all about. I googled it and found nothing but the health benefits of watermelon.)

not lying…

That wasn’t the end of the anomalies for the day. It started to rain, so I said goodbye to the watermelon and sat in my car for a minute, drawing and listening to the sound of rain drops on my windshield. A man approached my car and wanted to give me a piece of paper. My people pleasing self couldn’t bear the thought of this random man feeling disappointment, so I cracked my door and took the tiny pamphlet. “It’s about Jesus,” he said with a smile. I laughed out loud. What are the odds…

I am a pretty good person—the title of the pamphlet had all the makings of an alarming fire and brimstone gospel presentation. The inside didn’t disappoint, or it did—but not in a surprising way. “You have no guarantee of tomorrow. What a tragedy it would be for a good person like you to go to hell when you die.”—felt like home, honestly—a shame covered “truth” that strikes the fear of hell into your bones. I couldn’t make it beautiful like I used to be able to.

The god that sent this man to hand out damning pamphlets to strangers enjoying a Saturday morning at the lake isn’t someone I am particularly interested in getting to know.

Also not lying…

I don’t know what these random occurrences meant, but I certainly wanted to. I wanted it to make sense and for this to be some sort of grand metaphoric/spiritual epiphany. Christian Keeley would have thought that the man with the pamphlet was sent from her God to bring her back; To convict her and make her turn from her life of sin and come back home. And she would have thought that the man with the watermelon represented the empty practices of other religions—how silly it would be to think differently. I would have fit the story into my Christian container and moved on.

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Intermission:

Still trying to plan a trip with you all—the top three locations so far are Ireland, Coastal Maine and Argentina…Thoughts? If you missed It—Basically, I am working with Trova Trips to plan a trip for my internet people so that we can meet in real life. It will be safe, pre-vetted and full of activities like wine tastings, cooking classes, exploring, art and writing workshops, connection, a little soul searching, and more. Would genuinely love to meet some of you all this way. I need more survey responses before we lock in a destination.

Will you take this survey and let me know your thoughts?

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